Tuesday, November 26

Tehelka-Gate: The Primer

 High prose and verbal eloquence has been the sum of Tarun Tejpal’s defence and Shoma Chaudhury’s defiance after the former was accused of raping a junior colleague at Tehelka and the latter, of a cover-up.Please find below a primer to help you understand Tehelka-gate and the reportage better.

A: Acquiescing
Last used in conversation in the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ when Captain Barbossa refuses to accede to Elizabeth’s request to stop battering Port Royal.
A: Adamantine
Unbreakable. Only Tejpal can perhaps describe Shoma’s feminist resolve using a word which begins with ‘Adam’.
A: Atonement
What Tarun now wants to undergo. (also see laceration)
B: ‘Bob’ Robert De Niro
The Hollywood legend who became an excuse in the sex crime.
B: Bangaru
The man who’s ghost Tejpal claims has come back to haunt him.  The guy’s still alive FYI.
C: Chronology
Shoma’s spiffy comeback word when harassed by the media
C: CCTV
That video surveillance device which is never in the right place at the right time.
C: Contrition
The extent of Tarun’s remorse before the Mr.Hyde switchover.
C: Consensual
What the law calls rape, the victims calls molestation, Tarun calls Consensual
C: Courteous
How Shoma felt about the nine hour grilling by the Goa police
D: Drunken banter
That thing you do sometime before a feeling of contrition sweeps in.
E: Elevator
Tejpalese for ‘lift’
F: Feminist-principle insistence
That thing which the media interpreted as a cover-up engineered by Shoma
F: Fleeting
Those precious moments when you feel that the “Universe is telling us something”.
H: Half-truths
What Tejpal had accused the victim of, days after saying things like ‘It's alright to be in love with more than one person’
I: It
The thing Tarun’s daughter wants kept him to keep in his pants.
L: Lacerate
It’s what you’d normally expect a Salman Khan fan to do, after his one-way overtures are rejected by a Sonam Kapoor fan.
M: Managing
How Shoma spent her time discharging her duty as Managing Editor after the victim complained to her about the sexual assault.
M: Mendacious
A seemingly sexist word which means lying. But somehow it does make sense.
N: Non-consensus
One can make sense of this word if you can actually make sense of this sentence.
“It is a totally mendacious account of what happened, in its details, in its tonalities, in its very suggestion of non-consensus,” Tejpal said.

O: Overrode
The thing that Shoma did to Tarun before asking him to recuse from his position as editor-in-chief and issue an apology.
P: Predicated
Based on. It’s the kind of word one uses after using the word acquiesce.
R: Rock-Solid
The kind of support, Tarun says, he received from his family, friends and most of his colleagues after claiming his sexual liaison was consensual, after first claiming it was not. 
S: Smothered
One would think the word smothered was generally associated with kissing. But the masterly Tejpal uses it express regret.
T: Tonality
When Arnab Goswami snarls on the News Hour it’s a bark, when Shoma does that it’s all about wrong tonality.
T: Tehelka
An investigative weekly which does more stories on the Opposition than incumbent governments.
P: Prufrock
An elite highbrow club in Delhi which was conceived by Tehelka before Tejpal defrocked.
R: Recuse
Some interpreted it as rescue. Although it did look like one. 
S: Sexual liaison
Tejpalese for molestation
U: Unqualified apology
The set of two words which triggered an unmitigated disaster for Tejpal.
W: Wrenches
That feeling in the hearts all lovers of Tehelka, who are now following its fall.

Tuesday, December 2

SABINA SEHGAL SAIKIA

The war’s shifted from sweaty trains and crowded streets
To gilt-edged porcelain and clean, white perfumed sheets
The crimson rain has curdled the cream with its warm, sticky drizzle
Somethings changed; now even food reviewers have begun to sizzle

Wednesday, November 5

To Sebastian Rodrigues aka NAXAL (sic)

Between his lovers Cavrem, Pissurlem and Colamb
Each, a mineralized, ravaged, toxic tomb
He seemingly flits, with neurotic delight
This amorous home grown ‘Naxalite

Another morsel of flesh

Finally, in a moment random,
The boy without a condom, erred
And spurred the media to write
A story of pornographic delight

Saturday, March 29

CLVII

After EC officials discovered Rs 2.5 million in her hotel room in Meghalaya

Rs 2.5 million stashed in a Shillong suite

Booked by Alva and her Congress pets

Maybe we're wrong, maybe we just fret

But then, why does money always dog Margaret?

CLVI

On Scarlett Keeling's mysterious death

The dead don't talkA crime is conveniently blocked

But an officer's quiet has a stated price

His depravity, raised to the power of avarice

CLV

On British teenager Scarlette Keeling's suspicious death
A 15-year-old's dead
Washed ashore with a bruised head
Another rape? Another khaki sham?
It's the Goa Police, that needs a post-mortem

CLIV

ON OIL-SEEPAGE INTO WELLS OF MORMUGAO
'If you dont have bread, eat cake'

Saw the France's conscience shake

It's time the State takes stock, dwells

Why has oil replaced water in our wells?

CLXIII

Reading between the lines, one can rarely grasp
While chasing a languid puff of grass
Goa's always played host to a very sorry Governor creed*
But, it's good to see this zeal now, for governors on Speed**!!!

* Barring a couple of glorious exceptions
** Amphetamine sulphate, a high inducing drug

CLXII

Goa presents the only cavity

In Newton's theory of gravity

While, a ripe red apple may still pop

It takes forever for a minister to drop

CLXI

It's ironic, that the Cosa Nostra will meet once more

That's the Mafia which deals in land, not ore.

Who, after almost pillaging Goa, have now been called

To follow the 'natural justice' principle

CLX

Fact is always stranger than fiction
Life allows no retakes, nor scripted diction
As Munnabhai, he charmed us all with his moral sway
As Sanjay, it's the same old story of lies and dismay

Sunday, January 6

FINGERING


Bucknor and Benson
Index fingers taut with tension
Sydney was a test of lies
These ass-holes in an umpire's guise

Bucknor-Benson effigies burnt
Umpir
e gaffes hurt as India tries to push for victory

Monday, May 21

Quatrain CLIX -- ESCORT SERVICE

Bypass can now be tackled without
A preoperative anesthetic span
Did you not see how Escorts bypassed
A clot called Naresh Trehan

Fortis eases out Naresh Trehan from Escorts
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/India/Fortis_eases_out_Naresh_Trehan_from_Escorts/articleshow/2060592.cms

Friday, March 9

Quatrain CLVIII -- ITALY TO NEPALI

Foreign, isn't always a smiling white
Often, it is
Brown
With a coarse frown

Supreme Court Gives Cong MP Six Weeks to Prove Indian Citizenship
http://www.indiadaily.org/entry/supreme-court-to-cong-mp-prove-you-are-indian-within-6-weeks/

Cong MP born 4 times at 3 places!
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/born-4-times-at-3-places-is-subba-faking-identity/35342-4.html
Is Cong MP Subba not a citizen of India?

http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1946826,000600010001.htm



Friday, December 8

Quatrain CLVII -- THE HAND THAT SCRUBS THE BUM


You just can’t pin the Left down
Even their toilet paper’s never brown

The only way you can tell

Is that nauseating smell

Stung by SC judgements, MPs to discuss judicial ‘over-activism'
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20061208/main5.htm
Judicial activism does not augur well for system: Gurudas
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/NEWS/India/Judicial_activism_does_not_augur_well_for_system_Gurudas/articleshow/739034.cms Lok Sabha to debate on powers division between judiciary and legislature
http://www.dailyindia.com/show/90524.php/Lok-Sabha-to-debate-on-powers-division-between-judiciary-and-legislature

Wednesday, December 6

Quatrain CLVI -- WHEN THE LARDER REEKS


A dead rat in any Cabinet
Will smell

But mice will be mice
And never tell

JMM to claim berth vacated by Soren in Cabinet
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1860049,000600010001.htm
Soren, first ex-Cabinet Minister to get life imprisonment(lead: Soren)
http://www.dailyindia.com/show/89669.php/Soren-first-ex-Cabinet-Minister-to-get-life-imprisonment
No, minister
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/690403.cms

Friday, November 10

Quatrain CLV -- MOONING

We are going to the moon
But is it too soon?
Remember its crust is broken, dry
Wonder why Vidharba’s farmers die?

BJP to meet Prez over farmer suicide
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/bjp-to-meet-prez-over-farmer-suicide/23637-4.html
Govindacharya lashes at govt for farmer suicides
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1839657,000900040001.htm
Destination Moon: ISRO to draw blueprint today
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=106253
ISRO Plans for Manned Space Mission - Is the Price Tag Justified ?
http://www.bloggernews.net/11896

Tuesday, November 7

Quatrain CLIV -- THIS BYTE IS SPONSORED BY...

On matters trivial, trite
The Hero breaks his quiet
Sycophancy is certainly as Indian
As Sachin

Sachin, former cricketers slam Aussies for nudging Sharad Pawar
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1062491
Aussies' behaviour irks Tendulkar
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/007200611061740.htm
Who is Shobhan Mehta?
http://www.rediff.com/news/2005/jun/03spec.htm
Bookie Shobhan Mehta had links with Azhar, Jadeja, Mongia
http://www.indiaexpress.com/news/sports/cricket/20050611-2.html
Sachin felt let down by Dravid's declaration
http://cricket.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1832688.cms
Tendulkar examined by Madhavan over 1999 Ahmedabad Test
http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/india/content/story/101037.html
http://www.telegraphindia.com/1001212/sports.htm#head2
http://www.publicintegrity.org/report.aspx?aid=448

Sunday, November 5

Quatrain CLIII -- 'RAM'BLING ON

When an aged sage
Bursts into a rage
There’s no call for outrage or pity
Just give him a while to comprehend senility

Manu will walk free: Jethmalani
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/manu-will-walk-free-jethmalani/25389-3.html
Manu Sharma is a Innocent boy:Ram Jethmalani
http://www.newasiatimes.com/news/reports/?report=11901
Jessica murder: Jethmalani firm on defending prime accused
http://www.newasiatimes.com/news/reports/?report=11901

Friday, October 27

Quatrain CLII -- EMBEDDED EXCLUSIVES

NDTV, take a bow
For coaxing the Holy Cow
To crap,
Then broadcasting it, gift-wrapped

Sonia's exclusive interview to Vir Sanghvi on NDTV
http://www.ndtv.com/topstories/showtopstory.asp?category=National&slug=Manmohan+Singh+a+man+of+integrity%3A+Sonia&id=20598

Tuesday, October 24

Quatrain CLI -- BARMY ARMY

Who's whipping up this fear?
Of a mole in every army tier
Why should the ISI plant spies galore, when
Defence Ministers' make-do with a couple of crore

Pranab: No decision yet to blacklist Barak
http://www.financialexpress.com/fe_full_story.php?content_id=143240
Probe on to unravel spy network in Army: Pranab
http://www.kashmirobserver.com/index.php?id=896
Two Armymen in spy net, Pak driver in it too
http://cities.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=206263
ISI trying to subvert forces, says Pranab
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20061024/main1.htm
Armed forces in a tizzy over Pak moles
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2236118.cms

Wednesday, October 18

Quatrain CL -- WHEN A NOOSE BECOMES A CLIMBING ROPE

He’s back
Clean from crack
Now he even has a vision, whose
Root stems from Afzal's noose

Rahul Mahajan to join BJP's anti-clemency dharna
http://www.business-standard.com/common/storypage_c_online.p
hp?leftnm=11&bKeyFlag=IN&autono=16440

Rahul Mahajan wants Afzal hanged, to sit on dharna
http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/mmpaper.asp?sectid=2&a
rticleid=1016200623405157810162006234042562

Rahul Mahajan to join BJP's anti-clemency dharna
http://www.business-standard.com/common/storypage_c_online.php?leftnm=11&bKeyFlag=IN&autono=16440
Rahul Mahjan to sit on dharna to press for death sentence to Afzal
http://www.zeenews.com/znnew/articles.asp?aid=329869&sid=REG

Tuesday, October 17

Quatrain CXXXXIX -- DRDO... DODO

A five-year old tot
Mailed Kalam, a Viagra dot

He'd heard that the missile man's gun
Took more than two decades to come


Buy or make: Can the forces bank on DRDO
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2172733.cms
Govt. plans to close down Trishul anti-missile programme
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/001200610162135.htm
Govt drives final nail to 'Trishul' coffin
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1822196,0008.htm\
R&D work on Trishul missile to be stopped
http://www.hindu.com/2006/10/15/stories/2006101502771000.htm

Monday, October 16

Quatrain CXXXXVIII -- FAROOQ FAR OFTEN

The playboy prince of flesh
Can afford to be rash

Let India burn
And pack the ashes, in an electoral urn

Farooq trying to create communal wedge
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2172309.cms
Hang Afzal, and some crook may kill judges
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/hang-afzal-and-some-crook-may-kill-judges/23963-3.html
India will burn if rebel hanged says Kashmiri leader
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/hang-afzal-and-some-crook-may-kill-judges/23963-3.html
If Afzal is hanged Kashmir, India will go up in flames: Farooq
http://www.greaterkashmir.com/full_story.asp?Date=15_10_2006&ItemID=26&cat=1

Friday, October 13

Quatrain CXXXXVII -- BLUE BILLION BUCKS

The match-fixing sharks
Stride back into the park

Somewhere, someone’s held the door held ajar

For Kapil, Chopra, Jadeja, Mongia, Akram, Azhar

Suddenly, all those accused and prima facie fishy players in the match fixing scandal have returned and are back to playing roles, suspisciously aligned with the sport. Kapil (25 lakh to throw away a match against Pakistan) as chairman of the National Cricket Academy. Ajay Jadeja (betting on matches he was involved in and underperforming) as commentator. Nikhil Chopra (for match fixing and proximity to bookie Sanjeev Chawla) as a commentator and member of the Delhi state selection committee. Azhar (matchfixing and underperformance) is also on the verge of being embraced by the BCCI. Nayan Mongia coaches the Thailand cricket team. The BCCI has “cleared” these cricketers through its seedy “internal enquiries”. The Delhi Police have also ruled out the involvement of Indian players in the matchfixing scandal after probing Gibbs. Was match-fixing only a bad dream then?
Nayan Mongia to coach Thailand
content-usa.cricinfo.com/india/content/story/141024.html
Azhar, Ajay Sharma may be prosecuted
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2000/20001102/main1.htm
New committee fails to decide on shortlist (Nikhil Chopra)
http://cities.expressindia.com/fullstory.php?newsid=201942
Nikhil Chopra deposes before CBI
in.rediff.com/sports/2000/jun/29chopra.htm
Kapil becomes new NCA Chief
http://cricket.expressindia.com/fulleistory.php?content_id=74572
Match-fixing judge surprised at Mushtaq's (Mushtaq Ahmad) appointment
http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/australia/content/current/story/259929.html
Match-fixing judge reveals 'soft corner' for Akram
content-usa.cricinfo.com/pakvind/content/story/232548.html

BCCI to honour ex-skipper Azhar
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1058262

Thursday, October 12

Quatrain CXXXXVII -- DISPATCHED

A Russian journalist’s slain
The West is confused, pained
Poor Politkovskaya wouldn’t have been killed
If she'd embedded herself, on her own will

Journalist's Murder Seen as Indictment of Putin
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/worldopinionroundup/2006/10/journalists_murder_seen_as_ind_1.html
'Independent journalism has been killed in Russia'
http://www.guardian.co.uk/russia/article/0,,1896806,00.html
Putin criticised over journalist remarks
http://english.aljazeera.net/NR/exeres/CF400CC1-71A9-4BA1-B99C-E98FE44586EE.htm
Putin decries journalist's slaying and reporting
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2003298640_russia11.html
Embedded journalist
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Embedded_journalist
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2003_invasion_of_Iraq_media_coverage#.22Embedded.22_reporters
http://www.democracynow.org/static/IMIATOW.shtml
US media acts as a cover for power, says leading reporter
http://www.ekklesia.co.uk/content/news_syndication/article_060928media.shtml
Colbert Roasts President Bush - 2006 White House Correspondents
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-869183917758574879

Wednesday, October 11

Quatrain CXXXXVI -- POOR VAJPAYEE... DIDN'T THEY GIVE HIM A PENNY?

Coffins, missiles, subs and ships
Did we just hear India’s underpants rip?

The last line of her defence, one would wonder
Must be some Swiss bank account number

Fernandes in CBI cross-hairs for Barak missile deal
http://www.financialexpress.com/fe_full_story.php?content_id=142995
Quiz Kalam, not me: Fernandes
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/quiz-kalam-not-me-fernandes/23691-3.html
George Fernandes in Israel arms deal probe
http://in.today.reuters.com/news/NewsArticle.aspx?type=topNews&storyID=
2006-10-10T221040Z_01_NOOTR_RTRJONC_0_India-271696-1.xml

CBI alleges Rs two crore bribe to Jaya Jaitley
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2141131.cms
CBI names George Fernandes in arms scandal
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2139787.cms

Monday, October 9

Quatrain CXXXXV -- CAST'E' IRON

Kanshi Ram, V P Singh
Sinister masters of chess

Where shameless political moves

Are disguised as a caress


Kanshi Ram's family to sue Mayawati
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/kanshi-rams-family-to-sue-mayawati/23547-4.html
Master strategist, towering leader
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1057692
Founder of India's most powerful lower caste party, Kanshi Ram, dies
http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2006/10/09/asia/AS_GEN_India_Obit_Kanshi_Ram.php
VP Singh - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/V._P._Singh

Sunday, October 8

Quatrain CXXXXIV -- LETS HANG OUT TOGETHER

The jury is out
Ooh, isn't Afzal is haute
That end of the rope from which he hangs
Propels the ends of Haksar and her publicity gang

PUCL for clemency for Afzal
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/002200610071925.htm
Protests on Afzal death sentence continue
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/002200610061840.htm
Death of Afzal Guru will not solve anything
http://www.asiantribune.com/index.php?q=node/2344
Pakistan watching Afzal case
http://www.hindu.com/2006/10/06/stories/2006100618831700.htm
Kashmir body urges EU intervention to save life of Kashmiri in India
http://www.irna.ir/en/news/view/menu-234/0610057185162914.htm

Wednesday, October 4

Quatrain CXXXXIII -- NEWS SENSE

Two bums from two ends of Fleet-street
Finally meet.

On their face there’s a frown

A rival bum's coming from the other edge of town


HT Media signs MoU with Times of India Group
http://www.myiris.com/newsCentre/newsPopup.php?fileR=20061003113149043&dir=2006/10/03&secID=livenews
India Rivals Join to Publish a Daily
http://online.wsj.com/google_login.html?url=http%3A%2F%2Fonline.wsj.com%2Farticle%2FSB115990364283681463.html%3Fmod%3Dgooglenews_wsj
Delhi's media giants join hands to launch paper
http://news.monstersandcritics.com/india/article_1207834.php/Delhis_media_giants_join_hands_to_launch_paper
HT Media Ltd, TOI Group shake hands on 50:50 joint venture
http://www.agencyfaqs.com/news/stories/2006/10/04/16100.html
TOI, HT join hands to publish Delhi paper
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/2076288.cms

HT Media, Times Group forge JV
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1811687,00020009.htm


Quatrain CXXXXII -- SMOKING GUN

Terror is in the mind
Often a mess, the state leaves behind

To fester the sore

Terror’s a militant, even a mosquito


Dengue cases in Delhi cross 500; not an epidemic yet
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/000200610032101.htm
AIIMS ill-equipped for dengue rush
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/aiims-illequipped-for-dengue-rush/23121-3.html
Dengue situation continues to be grim
http://www.ibnlive.com/news/dengue-situation-continues-to-be-grim/23128-3.html
33 dengue cases confirmed in Haryana
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1811907,0009.htm
One more dengue case reported in Jammu and Kashmir
http://www.kashmirobserver.com/index.php?id=697

Friday, September 29

Quatrain CXXXXI -- WHO SEZ ITS A SCAM?

Grubby land grabbing is past
Now corporates want land sans fuss, fast
Trust governments to be reliably sleazy
Rustling up SEZ after SEZ

Corporate India's take on SEZ
http://www.moneycontrol.com/india/news/business/sezadigodrej/corporateindiastakesez/market/stocks/article/243149
There'll be no real estate scam: Kamal Nath
http://www.hindu.com/2006/09/29/stories/2006092904111200.htm
PM to look into SEZ issue: Nath
http://www.mumbaimirror.com/nmirror/mmpaper.asp?sectid=13&articleid=92820062230192969282006222947515
Gram sabha nod must for SEZs: Medha
http://www.hindu.com/2006/09/28/stories/2006092820981400.htm

Thursday, September 28

Quatrain CXXXX -- THE SURREAL CEREAL

Wednesday, September 13

Quatrain CXXXIX -- TERROR SONG II

Terror isn’t all about hate
There’s passion too
And a love,
For dismembering doves

Monday, September 11

Quatrain CXXXVIII -- TERROR SONG I

Terror is a bard
Trying very hard
To sing...
Unrelenting

Friday, September 8

Quatrain CXXXVII -- WHAM BAM MATARAM

Designer tri-colour tilaks on the head
Politics, a buttered loaf of garlic bread
Patriotism is fine refuge for scum
Why fuss over ‘One-Day Mataram’

Sporting a 'tilak' in the form of Vande Mataram written on his forehead....
BJP for Vande Mataram singing to be a fundamental duty

Thursday, September 7

Quatrain CXXXVI -- KALA PATTHAR

Sometimes she behaves queer
Or perhaps conceals her tear, when
she swallows poor flesh in soiled vests
And then allows 81 ogres* to rake her chest

54 coal miners feared dead in Dhanbad
http://www.dnaindia.com/report.asp?NewsID=1051611
Search on for over 50 trapped Dhanbad miners
http://www.zeenews.com/articles.asp?aid=320784&sid=NAT&ssid=
*Jharkhand MLAs want to be kings

http://www.ibnlive.com/news/jharkhand-mlas-want-to-be-kings/20826-4.html
*Munda gets a week to prove majority
http://www.indianexpress.com/story/12160.html

Wednesday, September 6

Quatrain CXXXV -- KKIS 'ORE' LE JAYEGI MUNDA KKO KIISMET?

They’ve dug her flesh, found rich ore
She’s still young… now they want more
One gang’s done… they’ve had their swill
Now the Congress homes in with their drill

Soren demands Arjun Munda’s resignation
http://internationalreporter.com/news/read.php?id=2202
Cong trying to destabilise Munda govt, says BJP
http://www.tribuneindia.com/2006/20060906/nation.htm
Munda Govt. should go: Left
http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/holnus/001200609061503.htm
Crisis in Jharkhand, NDA garnering support
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1960031.cms
Will Mittal Steel India's Jharkhand project take off?http://www.moneycontrol.com/india/news/business/sanakmishramittalsteelindia/willmittalsteelindiasjharkhandprojecttakeoff/market/stocks/article/234159
Jharkhand project alive: Mittal Steel
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1886040.cms