Quatrain XXXXVIII -- HOW TO ANALYSE A BUDGET

Even as the cotton harvest looks good

Laxmappa still has of reasons to brood

Middlemen grab half his crop, the other half loansharks extort

So he borrows more, goes to a store and buys a pesticide quart

* Haven't you guys heard it yet? India Inc says its a 10 on 10 budget

Quatrain XXXXVII -- IT ALL HAPPENS HERE, ON THE 'EXPRESS'WAY

The 80s saw Reliance and Express war*

Slime, juice, blood and gore

But then time heals with its divine prescription

Now, buy a RIM** phone to get a free Express subscription***

* The biggest media turncoat of our times. The Indian Express, which went hammer and tongs at Reliance in the 1980s under Arun Shourie, is virtually fighting shoulder to shoulder with Reliance now. And Arun Shourie... well sometime back he made clarified himself at a seminar that S Gurumurthy misled him about Dhirubhai. Then he went ahead and reinforced that Dhirubhai was indeed a visionary. http://www.indianexpress.com/full_story.php?content_id=27431 Only by the time Shourie realised it, Dhirubhai was dead!

** Reliance India Mobile.

*** This scheme was offerred by RIM in Pune sometime back.

Quatrain XXXXVI -- SANIA, AFTER THE MANIA

It was all cosy, until the media was tutored, managed

Her stylish clothes, manicured bytes, all modern and all rage

But Sania’s progressive halo wilts, when the mullahs bellow

When she ‘refuses’ to pair with an Israeli, she is just yellow

* Sania -- Globosports first big marketing kill first surfaced to our senses, after strategically calibrated saline doses injected by her sports agents, sent the media pulse throbbing. The PR calypso peaked after she performed better than any other Indian woman tennis player. There she was… a middle-class success, fancy clothes, smart, ‘modern’ bytes. A spin doctoring overdrive brought her this far. Then her mettle showed. Such regression that sent very very wrong signals to her peer looking up to her. Youngsters who were triggered by very coercive branding techniques to believe in ‘Sania the icon’. In her first standoff with the Islamic orthodoxy, she came out as a wimp (the Khushboo retraction) and now her refusal to play with an Israeli player fearing scandal… What can one say? Read this CNN/IBN story for more. http://www.ibnlive.com/sports/

Quatrain XXXXV -- THE SEXY SOCIALISTS

Lohia, Ram Manohar*
Must roll over in his tomb and whimper
For his jolly followers Amar, Mulayam at this hour
Have lost the red flag, and are waving somebody’s red bra.

* Ram Manohar Lohia was a freedom fighter and a prominent leader in the socialist movement. A proclaimed ideologue for both Uttar Pradesh's chief minister Mulayam Singh and the solemnly sinister Amar Singh.

Quatrain XXXXIV -- SEEDY

JP*, my generation has only heard of, not seen
His stoic, his grit and his conscience clean
But sometimes now, I doubt his deed
When Paswan, Laloo, Mulayam are his seed.

* Jayaprakash Narayan was known as the champion of the Sampoorna Kranti (Total Revolution) programme – read more on Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jai_Prakash_Narayan

Quatrain XXXXIII -- FLOWER, COWER

Flower children, their chillums, loaded joints
Prez Kalam’s flowing mane, his power points
At least the hippies knew and called the world a bitch
Whereas, our bachelor is fast emulating an ostrich

Quatrain XXXXII -- THE WORLD IS 'VERY' FLAT*

You know that Globalisation is very much here
When, Mulayam supports Iran to go nuclear
‘Vote for Iran, or I withdraw my support,’ he warns, grim
With UP polls a year away, he desperately seeks out ‘Muslims’


* Spoof on Thomas L Friedman's book "The World is Flat" about globalisation.

Quatrain XXXXI -- SECULARISM AND ALL THAT SHIT

If Modi has killed?
Then Modi should hang
But Ansari killed in Mau*
With the secularists in tow


* Independant MLA and gangster Mukhtar Ansari, supporting the Mulayam Singh Yadav's Samajwadi party government in Uttar Pradesh incited riots in Mau region by firing on a crowd of a particular religious community in October last year. He continues to support the state government with all gusto.

Quatrain XXXX -- "YOU WANT LAW? I AM SORRY, SHE'S BEING LAID"

This is secular governance at its best
Minority ‘welfare’, the ultimate quest
Now that Mulayam already has his wisdom circumcised
His minister* offers millions for a cartoonist’s head, sliced


* Even as it has been revealed that his police machinery takes contracts (supari) to mow down innocents for money, a minister in Uttar Pradesh’s Mulayam Singh Yadav’s government has taken a progressive step forward. Minister for Minority Affairs and Haj Haji Mohammad Yaqoob offered Rs 51 crore and his weight equivalent in gold for the severed head of the Danish cartoonist who caricatured Prophet Mohammad.

Quatrain XXXIX -- CRUMBS FOR THE QUEEN

She’s the media’s original blue-blooded baroness
Beautifully aging, she’s no freckled lass
Who bats for the Congress on every sticky wicket
And finally pockets the alluring Rajya Sabha ticket

Quatrain XXXVIII -- NEWS YOU CAN T'H'RUST

I have stopped buying porn
I now buy ‘picturesque’ newspapers
I bloody well know this doesn’t rhyme
But then Boribunder’s oldest harem is fine, just fine

Quatrain XXXVII -- PLEASE TELL ME SIR… I’M THE PM

Although Manmohan is a famed academic
His powers are lame, shockingly anaemic
Ignored*, he begs his ministers’ mercy often, not once
India’s prime minister, is only of academic importance

* Ignored and neglected by his cabinet, the PMO (prime minister’s office) has had to repeatedly write letters to his ministers imploring them not to ‘bypass’ the PMO and give the premier’s office prior intimation about major policy decisions. Read link further. http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/181_1615444,0008.htm

FREEDOM

We thought he was being playful that day, galloping wildly around the yard.
We had driven back from the weekly market, when our horse stormed towards the gate, as if the devil were after him and asked us. “What’s this chasing me?”
We took a while to recover. My husband did first. He walked towards Black and hesitantly asked, “What’s bothering you?”
“It’s this black horse underneath. Follows me everywhere I go.”
“It’s your shadow. Nothing to worry about,” my husband grunted. The horse jerked back and continued galloping restlessly.
There was nothing more we could do.
In the evening, he drove to the village and brought along the priest and a tantrik and a double-barrelled gun.
The excited priest walked to the fence and called out, “Black, come here.”
Black, who was still leaping about, trotted towards him. After they talked for a while, the priest returned, saying he would report the miracle to the Bishop.
The tantrik… he pointed his forefinger towards the sky and then at the horse. Black trotted towards him again. He muttered something in horse’s ear and Black grinned.
The tantrik did not even look at us on his way back. He merely pointed his forefinger at the sky again and shuffled away.
A shard of lightening blazed overhead. It was already dark. We hadn’t noticed.
“We do not want any miracles here. He is a horse, but he isn’t behaving like one,” my husband muttered under his breath and even before I could say a thing, took the loaded shotgun and walked up to Black.
As he raised his gun, Black looked at him in the eye. “Kill me when the sun’s up. I have come to terms with my shadow.”

Quatrain XXXVI -- RANG DE BASANTI

For them, it's always been so easy to kill
They've had the bullet, a uniform and will
And you've had some flesh to be seared, some blood to spill
But, yesterday* you conquered a police station, today** you torched another one.


* JEHANABAD: Several persons have died when 1,000 Naxalities on Sunday night attacked the Jehanabad police station in Bihar which is facing the last stage of polls to the state Assembly. According to reports, the police retaliated by firing hack at the Naxalites who had stormed the Jehanabad police station and the Jehanabad jail. (THE TIMES OF INDIA) http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1294090.cms

** NEW DELHI: A police station in Ghaziabad near Delhi was attacked on Monday by a mob suspecting that a person had died in police custody. After the mob attack lasting an hour, three villagers were arrested for assaulting people, including policemen, and destroying private and public property. (THE TIMES OF INDIA) http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1413040.cms

Quatrain XXXV -- THE ITALIAN TROJAN HORSE

So foreign is the Congress core
That millions of votes from across the borders pore
There is no way this flow’s gonna stop*
When, the rot you see, begins right at the top


* NEW DELHI: Congress president Sonia Gandhi will visit Assam on Saturday to virtually kickstart her party's poll campaign a day after Centre revived some provisions contained in the scrapped IMDT Act, a measure aimed at easing pressure on illegal Bangladeshis in the state. The move to revive tribunals is seen in the context of concern in Congress over its ability to hold onto Assam. There is a view in the party that the Muslim vote is not longer secure in view of other claimants and that the Centre's move was a calculated bid to woo the community. (THE TIMES OF INDIA) http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1410266.cms

Quatrain XXXIV -- DAYA OR MAYA*

How often do we idolise a grave-digger?
In Daya Nayak's case, media shunned editorial rigour
The altar of news has numerous stains of this bloody vice
Of a hero fabricated, used and sacrificed.


* Maya - illusion
Daya Nayak, Mumbai police's celebrated encounter specialist is currently in the dock for possessing assets, disproportionate to his income. Nayak with his lethal exploits had been a darling of the media for the last several years, until he struck trouble. Ironically, the gluttunous media vultures, whom Daya fed over the years, have now begun pecking and mauling him ferociously for their grub.

Quatrain XXXIII -- AMU'S* DIRTY LINEN

Does moral policing get you bugged?
These Hindu goons, Christian punks, Islam's thugs
It is said all religious paths merge together
And all along snarl these dogs, straining their tether


* Aligarh Muslim University
The 'progressive' AMU has turned a deaf ear at the plight of Farah Aziz, a post graduate Mass Comm student who is being hounded, physically harassed and threatened by self-styled moral police in the AMU campus. All because, as Farah claims, she wore a tee shirt and jeans to AMU campus. One hopes, she holds her nerve. The AMU management is mum. This is not just like your VHP-warns-against-Valantines-day-celebrations, but a much more serious one. Hope the media tackles it in a just manner and does not push it under the carpet, as it concerns minority fundamentalism.
www.hindustantimes.com/news/5922_1622760,0015002500000005.htm (click link for more)

QUATRAIN XXXII -- SINGH ALONG

Manmohan has adapted to devious craft
He was a statesman, then Madam's daft
Slowly now, the mud has begun to stick
As his integrity slips, brick by brick*

* NEW DELHI: Union urban development ministry is learnt to have directed MCD to stick to the path shown by the PM — that is, clear government land of encroachments but go easy on other illegal buildings.... (The Times of India - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/1406940.cms)

Quatrain XXXI -- SHABANA AZMI** KO AB GUSSA KYON NAHIN AATA

Will the secular media ‘educate’ Jamia* now?

Remember… the Hindu right – M F Hussein row?

Now, if cartoons can get the world to feud

It must be more scandalous than a Saraswati, in the nude!

* About 2,000 students of the Jamia Milia Islamia University, (Delhi) clashed with police on Monday when they were stopped on their way to the Danish embassy to protest against caricatures of Prophet Mohammed, which had appeared in a Danish newspaper. (The Hindustan Times)

** This not about Shabana Azmi, the person, but about Shabana Azmi, the symptom.

Quatrain XXX -- PERFECT HARVEST

When farmers orgy on pesticide

‘Cities of the future’ buckle under tide

And stampedes for dole, kill

Our Sensex* clocks the 10,000^th grave on Boot hill**

* FEB, 6 -- India's benchmark stock index charged past the 10,000 mark to touch an all-time high during a record rally Monday. (BusinessWeek)
** Burial grounds in the American West were known as Boot Hills. Also refers to a cluster of graves that were made for people who died in a strange town without assets for a funeral, known more formally as pauper's graves. (Wikipedia)

Quatrain XXIX -- WHAT'S LEFT?

These darn cowboys… just nag, snider

Folks reckon, they're UPA’s uppity moral rider

Strikes, FDI, Iran… yet there just aint no respite in sight

Left, you see pardner, just don’t seem right

Quatrain XXVIII -- A COFFIN-FULL OF CONSCIENCE

Once again the Bofors boomed

And all hell broke.

Where is that 'Inner Voice'

Er… did it choke?

"I was always certain that if ever I found myself in the position that I am today, I would follow my inner voice. Today that voice tells me I must humbly decline this post." -- Sonia Gandhi, after the Congress romped to power in 2004

Quatrain XXVII -- PMS*

The putain** makes a veiled charge

Advising restraint over reportage

With the media, it’s easy to spar

But will someone teach Manmohan to write an ATR***?

* Premier Manmohan Singh
** Italian for the ruler’s chief concubine
***Action Taken Report

Perhaps, his government’s shameful, de-fanged ATR, which followed the Nanavati commission’s report on the 1984
anti-Sikh riots, is the sort of restraint, which our 'honest' prime minister expects the media to observe.

Quatrain XXVI -- WHY TEHELKA IS DEAD II

Young once, She married virtue

Age peeled her innocence, painted a mercenary hue

Gloriously, She rode the popular tide

Today, Tehelka’s the whore everybody loves to ride